I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
