thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
