No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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