why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
