So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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