Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
