I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
