let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
