you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
