All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
ugly people sure do ruin things
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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