All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
