KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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