is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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