Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
