who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I supernannyed him into submission
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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