Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
two words...techno handjob
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
