So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
