So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize