So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
