no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
