Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
