I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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