Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
