How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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