Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
