I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize