just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
