so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
