The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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