is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
