Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
