So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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