Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
