I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
