i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
