and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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