Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
