No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
