i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
