how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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