Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize