Only a mothe r could love this liver
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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