dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
