I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
