I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
