ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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