I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
