me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
