You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize