So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
