she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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