They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
