Non-Jews are for practice
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
